Instructions
According to popular magazines I am supposed to be suffering body anxiety. Approaching my mid-thirties this corporeal frame is changing, and not entirely for the better. I like to consider it a fine wine with just a hint of cork taint.
Funny thing is, the look of my body is not the biggest concern I deal with. I don’t feel depressed seeing David Beckham’s underwear ads, or watching the latest half-dressed Milanese collections.
No, it’s a different kind of cover shot that gets under my skin.
How on earth can an ordinary bloke compete with the 9kg dusky flathead featured recently on the front of Modern Fishing? My best effort to date, despite years of patient angling, was a 1.3kg specimen.
What sort of man am I?
I’m suffering serious fish envy!!
Flathead was once the fisherman’s cast-off, undesired and inexpensive. Yet as international demand for seafood grew and biodiversity shrank, the humble flathead was catapulted into the gourmet stratosphere. And with its new acclaim the price rose and rose.
Late summer and early autumn are the best time of the year to enjoy flathead for availability and cost. You’ll find there is a bountiful supply of dusky, sand, bartail, rock and tiger flatheads around. The flavour differences between the types are subtle at best, although textures do vary considerably, meaning they suit different cooking methods.
Generally speaking the estuarine flatheads (dusky and tiger) are larger and firmer textured which is perfect for grilling or adding to soups. The coastal and deepwater varieties (bartail, sand and rock) tend to have a more delicate structure and a better oil content making them Australia’s best offering for the perfect fish and chips.
But meanwhile you’ll find me on the shores of Careel Bay, casting out into the mudflats, desperately seeking that aquatic answer to my aging masculinity.
Did I tell you yet about the one that got away?
Tempura of flathead