Instructions
As a young boy I had a reputation for recklessness. Tame risks were not for me, rather I tended to find the most silly thing imaginable and throw myself headfirst into it. Needless to say, not much has changed.
But at the ripe age of twelve, while camping at the Myall Lakes near Hawks Nest, my cousin told me about the death adder that lived nearby. According to the story, which I adjudged to be a rambling urban myth, this venomous beast had made its home in the underbrush by the pit toilet across the road.
The tale quickly grew in magnitude amongst our clan, until most of the kids believed that a Godzilla-sized serpent would devour them whole if they strayed away from camp. It’s a reliable child management strategy, I assure you.
So I, of course, had no option. I headed straight for the dunny.
My heart was racing, beating through my shirt. Every snapped twig was a monster set to strike. Through the bracken and grasses I swore I could see a writhing reptile, sizing me up for tea.
But I made it to the toilet without succumbing to the beast. Rather dull really. What a let-down!
Yet a funny thing happened next. I walked out the door of the lavatory, when something felt just that little bit wrong. I stopped, frozen still. I was standing on the head of a snake.
No kidding, true story.
So, being the brave warrior I was I did he only thing I could. I ran like blazes.
Not a soul believed me. Not my parents, siblings, cousins or friends. I can’t blame them really, after all it’s completely unthinkable. Except that it happened. When we ventured back with the dads, the snake had gone, obviously off to lick its wounds.
So you’re wondering, what on earth does this have to do with cooking? Well it’s tangential I’ll grant you, but it’s not just snakes that hide themselves in plain sight. The art of imaginative disguise is common in the garden too. Strawberries are the guerrillas of the kitchen.
You see they’re not a fruit. They’re called a ‘false fruit’ or pseudocarp. It’s actually the tiny little seeds (or achenes) on their exterior that are the real fruit, while the red bit is just the bait. It’s designed to help them reproduce.
Still, I’d rather eat strawberries than snake anytime. Oh, and by the way, the winter crop of Queensland Millewa strawberries are in your shops right now. That’s the food bit!
Strawberry clafoutis